Midwestern Mom's Musings

My view of the world through words & photos

How Well Do You Really Know Yourself?

It seems that we don’t know ourselves as well as those spam-vertisers do.

According to them these are my demographics:

I am a Black, White, Asian, Christian, Jewish, married, divorced, single, young, AARP-qualified, sex-deprived, low-testosterone, Sildenafil citrate-popping (don’t want to use the trade name) man/woman…

Who needs
– a mortgage,
– a quick loan,
– new credit cards,
– insurance for my car/life/teeth,
– a high-paying job at home or as a mystery shopper,
– an increased appendage size, and
– less hair and more hair (I’m figuring in different places)…

Who has qualified to get free
– gift cards,
– computers,
– iPads and iPhone,
– lunch and dinner certificates,
– clothing, and
– tires.

(Boy, am I a lucky person!)

But in case those don’t cover my needs, I can buy overstocked merchandise, amazing vacations, deeply discounted e-readers and tablets, and half-off flowers.

Of course, I can also get the money I need by filing a lawsuit against pharmaceutical companies, companies who denied my workman’s comp requests, and those who made or implanted failing hips and surgical mesh.

But before I do anything, I should check my credit score, as well as investigate who’s been running a background check on me and who’s been checking out my Facebook page.

I also can:
– get grants for additional education,
– obtain degrees from multiple colleges,
– learn a new language,
– lose lots of unwanted weight in only 14 days,
– get the spa treatment, and
– receive a quote for a new hot tub today.

Of course I’m going to have to ask one of you to read the fine print on these offers for me since I haven’t gotten my zero dollars down, zero percent interest LASIK treatment yet.

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3 comments on “How Well Do You Really Know Yourself?

  1. shessel
    June 24, 2012

    A journey through your inbox???

  2. Mary Meyer
    June 28, 2012

    I have quit looking at my spam! It is too gross!

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This entry was posted on June 24, 2012 by in Just Fun and tagged , , , , , .
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