Reflections on Death

My Aunt Jean died this morning.

As a kid growing up around her and my other relatives, I never thought of anyone at those gathering not being there.  Of course they would always be there when we came into town to visit – my mom’s parents, my dad’s mom, my aunt and uncles, and all my cousins.  As I got older, I realized that despite my firmest belief that we would always be together, it just wasn’t reality.  People live and people die.

My first thoughts after hearing the news about my aunt’s death was – my poor cousins, and my poor mom and aunt.  While I have been dealing with the death of my spouse, I have never had to face the pain of losing a parent or a sibling.  My cousins have now lost both of their parents.  My mom and her sister have now lost their parents and sister.

While our pain is different, my prayers are the same:

May our Lord wrap his loving hands around us and
let us feel His support, love, comfort and guidance.

Prayers will not take the pain away, but I believe it softens the edges a little.  I know that I felt the power of the prayers being said for me, Ben, Beka and our families after Bill died, and I still do today.  Those prayers helped me get up in the morning and get through all those things I had to do, and still have to handle.

Several weeks after Bill’s funeral, I was talking with a friend on the phone.   I told him I was so happy that he had signed the registry book at the church because I hadn’t seen him that day and I appreciated him taking time off of work to attend the funeral.  After a moment of silence, he gently said, “Kathy, you did see me.  And you and I talked.”  He described our conversation.  I had no recollection of it at all!  So much for thinking I was handling everything just fine.  Apparently there are gaps in my memory from those days.

I do remember the most important things, though.  I remember how many people reached out to me.  I remember so many people telling me how much they loved Bill, and how they would be here for me, Ben and Beka.  I remember the amazing number of cards, phone calls, e-mails, Facebook postings and prayers we received.  I remember feeling overwhelmed at the love that surrounded us.

I know my cousins, my mom and my aunt will experience all of this, too, because of the blessings of our faith, family and friends.

Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord,

and let perpetual light shine upon her.

May her soul and the souls of the faithful departed,

through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

            Amen