My view of the world through words & photos
So here I am on Mother’s Day, wide awake at 1 a.m., not understanding why I’m not in bed enjoying one of my favorite past-times: sleeping.
Instead, I have one of those many cooking contests on the TV. I scrolled past several great movies on the TV listing because most of them would have led to me crying at some point…and I know I’ll be doing enough of that later today. One of the things I will be doing is visiting my mother-in-law to wish her a happy Mother’s Day. This will be the third time I’ve done this since my husband, her oldest child, died. We love each other like biological family, but seeing each other does bring up the fact that the one who brought us together is no longer with us. As a widow herself, she is probably one of the few people who come close to understanding the pain I feel every day. It’s still difficult to spend time with her, despite the love I have for her as my other mother.
Before I see my mother-in-law, I’ll be celebrating Mother’s Day at Mass with many friends. Several of these wonderful people who have helped us these past few years, have suffered losses of their own. Some have lost their mothers recently, while others have been without their moms on Mother’s Day for years. Some of my mom-friends will be experiencing Mother’s Day without their child because death now separates them. Some of my friends, and I, will be experiencing Mother’s Day without our husbands, who shared that amazing title of parent with us. My heart aches for each of these friends. No matter the circumstances, no matter the amount of time, the empty space in their hearts is edged with pain.
My thoughts are also with my dear friend’s family who I know will be at their church today – without her for the first time. She fought cancer with grace, humor, love and friendship (and many rounds of chemo and surgeries) for three years. Her legacy of love of God, His beautiful world, family and friends has brought me some peace in losing this amazing woman and childhood friend many decades too soon.
My kids, knowing how much I love celebrating happy times, have already given me flowers and candies. While those may not be with me weeks from now, the beautiful words on their card will be carefully put away so I can read it whenever I have doubts about my ability to do this parent thing on my own. According to them, I’m doing a good job…and their opinion is the only one I really care about.
As part of my belief that happy times should be celebrated for as long as possible, I, too, sent my mom flowers early. I’m looking forward to calling her later today since the hundreds of miles that separate us will prevent me from seeing her in person. Since I know there are hundreds of kids who are separated from their moms by thousands of miles because of their military service today and may not even be able to call home, I will be grateful that I can make that call.
The rain is falling right now. When the sun rises in a few hours, I’m sure I’ll see flowers, bushes and trees showing off their greens, yellows, pinks, reds, whites and other bright colors. I will try to celebrate this Mother’s Day with a grateful heart. I will try to remember the innocent joy of celebrating Mother’s Day when I was a kid and making my mom smile was the only goal I had for the day. And I will keep all these other moms and kids in my heart, praying that they, too, will find peace and happiness today.